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Wednesday, July 31st, 2013
12:18 pm - Ahem...
I'm still alive. In case anyone was interested or anything.

IMG_2383
7 wishes| Make a wish.
Friday, December 9th, 2011
6:18 pm - Lah-dee-dah-dee-effin-dah.
So wow... can't believe it's almost Christmas and almost the end of another year. Of course, "almost" only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades, but whatev. Let's see if I can give you a rundown of what's been going on in my life since my last update.

It's been 8 months that I've been single again. CRAZY. And while I'm crazy headoverheels for my coworker, he's been clear that all he can offer for now is friendship. And I'm not exactly getting any younger.. so it's time to get back out there. I have a date on Sunday with a guy who seems to be a male version of me. This is either going to be really fun - or really scary.

I've been at my job for close to a year now, and I still think it's ridiculous that I get paid to do what I do. EVERYONE should have a job they love this much. For serious.

I've already got my tickets again for Austin City Limits Festival in October. Went this last year with my 20 yr old cousin and went the year before with one of my best friends. I think that I need to just plan to go every year. It's truly that much fun.

And finally? The kicker. So I've been trying to get a significant chunk of weight off basically all of my life - but as an adult, for the last 18yrs. I've tried every diet under the sun. I've logged countless hours of exercise. And regardless of how much or little I eat, and how much or little I exercise, it's not budging. SO. I've been approved for a lap-band, and I'm tentatively set for March. I'm pretty stinkin excited. More to come on that as it gets closer.

Bottom line? I'm happy. Life is good. I'm terribly blessed. And I've missed you all. :)

current mood: content
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Wednesday, December 7th, 2011
8:04 pm - Hi!
Remember me??
7 wishes| Make a wish.
Monday, April 25th, 2011
9:25 am - post-birthday update

so yeah.. remember that update i told you to be watching for?

this would be said update.

after almost 2 years, charles and i decided to change the dynamics of our relationships. we're still best friends who love each other, but we will be eliminating the romantic part of our friendship. it sucks and it hurts like hell, but we both feel it's what needs to happen in order to reach our individual goals.. and we felt like we'd reached the end of our romantic journey. on the other hand, this way we know we've got each other for life. it's been a great ride and so many wonderful things have happened to us as a result.. but it's just time to let go.

that being said.. i've been looking into adoption and have made the decision to start actively pursuing that option as a single mom. it's scary and exciting but i have peace about it and can't wait to be a mommy.

i'm also wanting to return to law school. this time i'm running to something rather than running away for something. i'm going to study and take the lsat and just see what happens. if i get a competitive score, i'll work on the application process. if i
bomb out, i'll move forward with plans for my MSN-FNP degree. either way, i'm ready to go back to school.

i told you it was big stuff, but i'm pretty sure that you weren't expecting it in this package!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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Tuesday, April 12th, 2011
10:11 am - Happy Birthday to Me!

Holy crap... I'm about to turn 37. How the hell did that happen?!?

That also means that my journal will be 10yrs old on 9/11. How weird is that??

Life is good. That is all for now.

Well, maybe not all. There's big stuff brewin. Big BIG stuff. Stay tuned..... :)

current mood: dorky
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Thursday, January 1st, 2009
3:28 pm

Credit: capture_dreams


So I've made the decision to go friends only. Call it self-protection. If you'd like to be added, just comment.
9 wishes| Make a wish.
Sunday, October 12th, 2008
11:00 pm - things i've learned...
1) life will surprise you.

2) people will surprise you.

3) you will surprise yourself.

4) the things you say you'll never do often come to pass... the things you think you'll never do often do not.

5) sometimes a genuine smile and/or a hug really can fix anything.

6) good can come out of nearly any bad situation.

7) sometimes all it takes is a dream and a good night's rest to remind us we actually HAVE dreams, hopes and wishes.

8) i'm stronger than i think i am.

9) i'm smarter than i think i am.

10) every little thing is gonna be alright.

current mood: optimistic
Make a wish.
Sunday, September 14th, 2008
4:47 pm
i'm okay. fair amount of damage in my apt complex but i escaped unscathed.

my parents are still without power and water. my aunt and uncle are still without power but have a little water. neither had any major damage but some work will have to be done. my parents' new house got a little bit of water damage, but could have been much worse.

my apt has power and water so i'm hanging out here. think i might be having a few refugees camped out here tonight. my phone really isn't making/receiving calls, but i can text.
12 wishes| Make a wish.
Thursday, September 4th, 2008
11:38 pm
it would seem i've found a solution. for now.

5mg ambien tablet + 25mg phenergan tablet + 1 nulev tablet + 1 mug tension tamer tea = MUCH better.

and?? i should be ready for sleepytime very very soon. i've found that the oral phenergan doesn't knock me out the way the IV or IM form does (that's a well duh!) but it also doesn't knock me out the way even benedryl does. so phenergan will help with the pukey stomach, nulev will help with the washing machine stomach, ambien will help all the way around as will the tension tamer tea. i already feel sorta light and floaty - but still functional.

thanks for the suggestions, guys.

current mood: calm
Make a wish.
9:02 pm
anyone got any quick solutions to get rid of anxiety?

it's starting to get REAL old.

i've tried working out. quiet soothing music. studying. cooking. doing laundry. doing some organization on my closet.

about to try a hot shower and some hot tea. but seriously????

all these butterflies and the racing heart thing needs to GO.

current mood: anxious
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Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008
9:32 pm
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.

—Samuel Beckett

...the greatest miracle for me was getting started.

—V.S. Naipul

If you haven't before, start having dreams. Have lots of them. Have great dreams, have small dreams.

—James B. Stewart

The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.

-Walt Disney

current mood: okay
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9:32 pm
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.

—Samuel Beckett

current mood: okay
Make a wish.
Saturday, August 30th, 2008
12:03 am - update of sorts.
drama drama.

blah blah blah.

drama drama.

update-ish.Collapse )

current mood: sleepy
Make a wish.
Friday, August 29th, 2008
11:58 pm
Nothing is more sad than the death of an illusion. - Arthur Koestler

Happiness comes more from loving than being loved; and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again - this is the brave and happy life. - J.E. Buckrose

The irony of love is that it guarantees some degree of anger, fear, and criticism. - Harold H. Bloomfield

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. - Mark Twain

Never trust the teller. Trust the tale. - D.H. Lawrence

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. - Robert Frost

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than it was because he was he, and I was I. - Montaigne

Thin people are beautiful but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Weak people cannot be sincere. - La Rochefoucauld

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age. - Elliot Paul

The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, But also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people. - Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

current mood: okay
Make a wish.
11:51 pm
hi.

current mood: okay
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Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
3:59 am - under pressure, or the case for a roommate
so yeah. i think i get it now.

there's nothing quite like having a day at work filled with super high highs and super low lows. a day where you feel simultaneously like a badass and a dumbass. and a day where you labor with a patient all frakkin day... push with her for two stinkin' hours.. and wind up sending her back for an emergency c-section. and then staying behind an extra 2 hours to make sure all your charting is done because your preceptor decided today would be a good day to be solo.

and be all sorts of keyed up. and have no one to come home to who could kiss it and make it better. or offer a hug. or a backrub. or some snuggles.

and yeah. i know. i should probably pick some good cheese to go with this whine. it just sure would make life easier to have someone to talk to on a night like this. unfortunately, i got home so late, pretty much everyone was already i bed - or at that point.

so yeah. i'm thinking a roommate. or a boyfriend. or a SOMEthing. any or all or some of the above would be reeeeallllllllllly nice right about now.

let's see what my ambien and shiner can do for me instead.

current mood: drained
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Saturday, June 21st, 2008
6:02 pm
holy crap it just got dark out there. and the thunder sounds like something straight out of a horror movie. i need someone to come cuddle up with me!

at the rate the thunder is rolling, and judging by the radar, i wouldn't be surprised if my power went out tonight.

happy first day of summer indeed!
Make a wish.
4:01 pm - 35 Little Secrets
Click here to see mine.Collapse )

current mood: bored
Make a wish.
Wednesday, June 11th, 2008
11:38 am
i'm creating a new myspace.

if you have me on your lists, add my new one and feel free to toss the old one.

the e-mail address is cabricker1974@gmail.com

current mood: relieved
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Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
10:05 pm - happy birthday to me!
thank you for the birthday wishes. you know who you are. :)

wow. what a difference a year makes. this time last year i'd been doing evenings for a year and was getting ready to switch to days. and i hated my job. i also ditched super giant man. and was pretty nauseous at the thought of dating anyone new. and was doing nothing along the lines of exercise.

this year, i've been on days for a year now and i'm looking to escape from either my unit or my hospital - but i still love nursing. i've gotten my foot in the door on another unit but they've got no day positions open. i'm essentially on the waiting list. i've also spoken with a doc in private practice who will be needing a nurse in about 6 months. she knows i'm interested in that spot. i've been working out 4-5 days/week pretty consistently for a month now. also? i've gone out on quite a few dates. and surprisingly? one turned out to be pretty promising. we've been talking since jan 1st, and we finally went out for the first time last friday. things went very well. VERY very well. and it was a textbook example of why it's best to be friends first. we're supposed to be getting together on thursday and i'm giddier than a kid at christmastime. i've also made some new friends as well as reconnected with some old ones.

yes, people. life is good. except for work. and i'm in a state of zen about it. it will get better when it does. in the meantime, i'm focusing on all my happy stuff and all my silver linings. may 34 be even kinder to me than 33 was.

happy birthday to me indeed.

current mood: peaceful
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Tuesday, January 1st, 2008
6:58 am
happy new year!

may 2008 be much kinder to all of us.

current mood: hopeful
Make a wish.
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
5:51 am
guess who gets to go back to bed.... mmmhmm. that'd be ME.

ok. have a good morning. i know i will. :P

my to do before Friday list. feel free to skip.Collapse )

current mood: tired
3 wishes| Make a wish.
Tuesday, August 14th, 2007
3:37 pm
Have fun!

Oh look.. it's a poll!Collapse )

current mood: dorky
18 wishes| Make a wish.
Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
4:09 pm
okay. clearly i have no life. so far today i have made TWO mix cds, half-assed a strength training session, watched the last hour of Barefoot in the Park, watched the last half-hour of Carousel, talked to the boy (our shortest call yet! this one was only 1.5 hrs), cleaned up my kitchen (including putting away clean dishes and loading the dirty ones), and now? i have a batch of brownies ready to put in the oven. i'm thinking it's about time to start doing the facial scrub/mask stuff. maybe soak in a bubble bath. SERIOUSLY needing a pedicure. are those places even open today?

bored.bored.bored.

planning out the menu for tomorrow. just in case.

current mood: bored
Make a wish.
1:27 pm - mixtapes.
okay. i've been asked to make a mixtape for the new boy. after discussing our music collections, although we pretty much like the same things, i had some stuff he'd never heard of and he asked me to make him a mix.

i have a task for YOU. make me a playlist for a mixtape. it can be from 10-14 songs. no stress. no pressure. just some songs you love, you think are important, or you think other people need to hear.

i'll even include one!

go to it, you.

current mood: geeky
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Thursday, June 28th, 2007
8:30 pm
SERIOUSLY?!?

Ex-`Grey's' star cites racism for firingCollapse )
he's honestly going to try and use that excuse when the show's creator is black and there are 2 other main characters (3 if you count adele) who are also black?? please. he needs to build a bridge and get over it.

current mood: annoyed
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Saturday, June 23rd, 2007
11:55 am
as fate would have it, i'm having trouble with my cable box that is going to require a technician to come out on monday. which means one thing. i have to clean. clean as if my life depended on it.

seriously?!? the universe is forcing me to get all of this done. as if it knows that something will be happening at my apartment sometime very soon. or at least as if it knows i've been making lots of excuses to keep people from coming over and allowing me to stay fairly anti-social.

but honestly? it always seems like my surroundings are a reflection of what's going on internally. and considering the baby steps i'm making internally, it's no surprise to me that i'm wanting to get this place into tip-top shape. FINALLY.

i'm also aiming to get on the treadmill for 25 minutes today. i've talked myself out of it 3 days in a row. i was genuinely too tired by the time i got home last night. and well, the two days prior were just a bust. so today? here are my goals:

1) clean the kitchen
2) laundry
3) hang up/put away clothes on my dining table
4) put out the pictures i'd put away when i rearranged my living room
5) put away some of my books
6) clean my bathroom
7) change sam's box
8) cook up some of the food in my fridge/freezer
9) vacuum
10) treadmill for 25 minutes

ok. there you have it. it's kinda easier to stick to goals when you have them written down. let's see what happens.

current mood: determined
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Friday, June 22nd, 2007
5:32 am
Okay. So I heard back from Mr. Deli Man (aka ChBr) yesterday evening. And what did he have to say for himself?

first and foremost, i currenly use the internet through my cell. fun. secondly, i still firmly believe we should cook together sometimes. innocently, of course. i need to not deny myself of the building of social capital. i also believe that even though you are quite attractive i can ignore that for a new contact. also, honesty is important to me. seems self-denial is too. i'm glad you did email me. i'm looking forward to getting to know you better because you're quite interesting. oh. and i'm a known flirt, so don't expect that to change much. so. do you have room for something platonic, regardless of how awkward it may get? i thrive on awkward. i like it. and i really like conversing with you. chad.

hmm. see, what i told christie at dinner last night was that the tension between us is getting so thick that we're practically pacing around each other.. almost circling each other in a stand-off. think george and izzie in the closet after they did the deed and he finally remembered. this e-mail did not help that feeling of being ready to crawl out of my skin.

curiosity killed the cat, yes? so how many lives do you think i have left? i'm so very tired of doing things because they're safe. or they're the easy way out. it's so flippin' boring. of course, if i can be patient, and wait things out, my IT boy may surprise me. apparently i also did a good thing when i e-mailed my IT boy despite the fact that i haven't heard back from him yet. so says christie once she got the full detailed and animated scoop on wednesday's encounter.

those two boys really are opposite ends of my personality. chad is my dark chocolate, wine, dive bar, live music, passion, clashing, fiery, intellectual twin. justin is my grounded, spiritual, pollyanna, playful, drives a hyundai, wears james avery, flirty, intelligent twin.

question is - which one would be the right fit? don't get me wrong. for every bit of brooding and fiery and passionate that chad has, he is so kind-hearted and tender. he's really just a teddy bear. he's much more so than he would like people to know, i think. you can see it in his eyes. he just cares about people. and so does justin. and maybe that's what i'm drawn to in both of them.

i forsee today being a very interesting day. happy friday to you!

p.s. i actually got dressed in my workout clothes this morning in an attempt to workout. just didn't quite make it to the treadmill in time. that's a vast improvement over the last 2 days. perhaps i'll make it when i get home on time this afternoon after actually getting lunch. do you hear me, universe?!? TODAY WILL BE A DAMN GOOD DAY! there. i said it.

current mood: optimistic
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Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
5:32 am
boo on pms.

it has sucked the energy right out of me. apparently the get-up and go i've had since rediscovering my "morning person" roots have got up and went. so much for my workout this morning.

guess i will be forcing myself to the treadmill when i get home.

on the other hand, i have some fresh cherries and blueberries, some grilled pineapple salsa, some chicken to grill up, and a few other fabulous items to stave off even more serious pms hell. so long as my charge nurse doesn't try to make me miserable today, i shouldn't have to bust out the serious ammo... like a tear-and-share bag of m&ms.

besides... i think i could marry ben. or jerry. or just move to utah and marry them both. in their lighten up line, they've come up with a new flavor that's actually... *gasp* LIGHT. the strawberries & cream flavor has 150 calories and 3.5 grams of fat to a one-half cup serving. who'da thunk it?!? and it's frakkin' fabulous. this makes me a very happy girl.

ok. shower time. have a good day. and wish me good thoughts to see IT boy. and that it goes as well as it has the last few times.

current mood: exhausted
5 wishes| Make a wish.
Sunday, January 28th, 2007
12:32 pm
hi.

current mood: happy
46 wishes| Make a wish.
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